This past Wednesday I celebrated my one month anniversary in Chad.
There wasn’t much fanfare. The day passed as many others have, with me
departing for work at the local Chadian private school where I am
teaching English, trying to teach classes full of 50 students between
the ages of 12-16, getting frustrated with the inefficient bureaucracy
left over from French colonial control, dealing with the fact that I’m
a white woman walking down streets filled with black men, taking a 2
hour nap, etc. A day like so many others, focused on adapting, on
resting, on living.
Life here is tiring, filled with effort, and sometimes extremely
depressing; the heat, the lack of consistent water or electricity, and
the trash in the streets make merely living so difficult. Life here
is lonely; living in a culture so contrasting to my own, surrounded by
a language that is not my native tongue, and being separated from the
young adult community that has been my life these past few years have
challenged me.
But there has been much more to my time here than simply learning to
survive. On the one month anniversary of my time here in N’djamena, I
read a letter from my fall roommate asking me about life lessons and
how the African world view has challenged me. I wanted to respond with
the Western ideals I have begun to realize dominate my life, the
reward theology that has frustrated me, and the biblical/cultural
habit of head coverings that has begun to grate on me. But instead I
forced myself to delve into life and lessons here.
I realized that I am learning to be adaptive, to be accepting of
change, and to live with world-views that are so different from my
own. I am re-learning how to live in family, how to feed the dog and
fill the filter, how the illusion of personal space/property doesn’t
always make sense when you have water and your neighbor is thirsty. I
am learning how worship comes no matter what you believe or what your
circumstance: God is still God. I am accepting that poverty is a part
of life. I am learning to laugh at the fact that I am not the only one
who doesn’t shower everyday (or who needs reminders that showering
every once in a while might be helpful (thanks Jamila)). I am
recognizing that you can learn to adapt to live without toilet seats,
instant internet, constant electricity or running water. I am being
refreshed in the certainty that God provides.
Like the bread I baked yesterday with leftover oatmeal, I am learning
that life doesn’t always come out the way you had planned. Whither it
was the lack of measuring spoons, the two settings of hot or hotter on
the gas stove, or the Chadian flour that I sifted to get rid of creepy
crawlers, even after an extra twenty minutes my precious loaves never
turned the tell-tale golden brown color I expect from my bread. And
yet, even with all the complications and their dull white complexion,
they still taste like manna.
Such is life here. While I’m not exactly sure what I expected, I know
it was not this tired, hot, and lonely existence I have stepped into.
And yet, there is as much goodness here, and the bread is eaten with
just as much love, as it was where I climbed the grassy hill beneath a
star filled sky to ground the local wheat myself.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
inner beauty pants
I’m wearing the inner beauty pants this evening. There were called for
to give me courage and a reminder of much love and people who have
faith in me. I felt lost today, and very useless.
Teaching was so encouraging last week, but today I felt trapped in the
bureaucracy of the place. They schedule the staff meetings during
class and just let the children run around. And teachers go at least 5
minutes, most 10 minutes, late to class. And my classes are 50 persons
per class. And my guard is trying to bribe his way into university
because he has no other choice for an opportunity to get more
education. To say the least I was exhausted and trying to hide from
the world. And the worst part of it was that I knew I was
intentionally withdrawing. I hate that, when I intentionally do
something I dislike doing and feel helpless to stop myself.
But I’ve had a change of heart. I came outside to hang out with my
evening guard (the same one who is trying to get into university) and
then put on the inner beauty pants before writing you two an email.
I love you lots and miss my roomies. I hope your first week of classes
has gone better than mine. You are in my prayers and in my heart. I
miss the life at school, but part of me knows that I meant to be
here. If only for the forced rest. I’m not sure yet if I will follow
in love with this place, but I am here and I need to stop being afraid
of the unknown.
My guard is playing his guitar and singing about telling the truth and
sharing the good news. That is something I want to do here. Because
the scriptures I hear them reading are not the life giving ones that I
believe in. And the message that some churches take from the bible and
following Christ have nothing to do with the life of servitude and
humility I have chosen. I can understand argueing militarism, I get
that man can claim superiority to woman, but I don’t understand using
scriptures about modesty (head coverings) to define every part of a
woman’s life, but using them to accent woman’s vanity. I don’t
understand the claim that following Jesus brings material prosperity.
The God I serve is one of plenty, yes, but not one that gives out
earthy prosperity like a pleased dictator.
But there is still hope here. Hannah and I had a conversation with
Videl (our guard) about prosperity and what it means. And also
different ways of interpreting the text. And about the justice system.
It was refreshing. There are good people here, willing to listen.
to give me courage and a reminder of much love and people who have
faith in me. I felt lost today, and very useless.
Teaching was so encouraging last week, but today I felt trapped in the
bureaucracy of the place. They schedule the staff meetings during
class and just let the children run around. And teachers go at least 5
minutes, most 10 minutes, late to class. And my classes are 50 persons
per class. And my guard is trying to bribe his way into university
because he has no other choice for an opportunity to get more
education. To say the least I was exhausted and trying to hide from
the world. And the worst part of it was that I knew I was
intentionally withdrawing. I hate that, when I intentionally do
something I dislike doing and feel helpless to stop myself.
But I’ve had a change of heart. I came outside to hang out with my
evening guard (the same one who is trying to get into university) and
then put on the inner beauty pants before writing you two an email.
I love you lots and miss my roomies. I hope your first week of classes
has gone better than mine. You are in my prayers and in my heart. I
miss the life at school, but part of me knows that I meant to be
here. If only for the forced rest. I’m not sure yet if I will follow
in love with this place, but I am here and I need to stop being afraid
of the unknown.
My guard is playing his guitar and singing about telling the truth and
sharing the good news. That is something I want to do here. Because
the scriptures I hear them reading are not the life giving ones that I
believe in. And the message that some churches take from the bible and
following Christ have nothing to do with the life of servitude and
humility I have chosen. I can understand argueing militarism, I get
that man can claim superiority to woman, but I don’t understand using
scriptures about modesty (head coverings) to define every part of a
woman’s life, but using them to accent woman’s vanity. I don’t
understand the claim that following Jesus brings material prosperity.
The God I serve is one of plenty, yes, but not one that gives out
earthy prosperity like a pleased dictator.
But there is still hope here. Hannah and I had a conversation with
Videl (our guard) about prosperity and what it means. And also
different ways of interpreting the text. And about the justice system.
It was refreshing. There are good people here, willing to listen.
travels
Last week, when Joshua was still here, we visited Dougia and Gouie.
Two tourism sites on this side of the country. Dougia has a huge rock
shaped by the wind to resemble an elephant . We got to climb the rock
as a family and it felt just like old times: Climbing rocks, taking
pictures, and then sitting down for a packed lunch. That is until the
local children realized there were narssara in the area. We could see
them coming from all directions to see the white novelty. The
adventuresome boys climbed up the hundred meter rock just to say
“salut” and sit beside us. There was a crowd of about thirty circled
around our truck when we got down from the elephant and they all
wanted a handshake and a hello.
In Gouie, a local village that has a historical museum, all the
village children (about 40 or so) surrounded our truck as soon as we
stopped. All the schools in the country are on conge (holiday) because
of the 50 year independence celebration on Tuesday, and so they were
all there to welcome the tourists. The museum was really cool, it’s
actually an old sultan’s palace all necked out with Sao artifacts. And
then I bought some local pottery. 4 bowls for the apartment next year.
I also ordered a pitcher for water. Things like that are so cheep
here. It’s the clothing that is expensive.
My brother left on Sunday so he could be back in time for school this
week, and life settled down into some what of a routine. Because my
students are also on conge, I lead an English club this past week on
Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning. It went really well. The kids
really want to learn, and I’m finding that I might actually turn out
to be a not-half-bad teacher.
Week days are pretty routine, we all get up at 6 and eat breakfast
together around 6:30. Mom and Dad go to work, Hannah goes to school,
and so far I’ve alternated between hitching a ride with my Dad to my
school, and then walking home or staying home and working on lesson
plans. Each day I’ve gotten the chance to walk around the
neighbourhood, or walk to pick my sister up from school. I can now
find my way there on my own.
We have the big meal of our day at around 1:30 or 2. Because cooking
here takes a lot of time (you have to bleach all the food, etc) and
dishes are done by hand in large tubes, along with laundry (not
together though… ), we have a house help who comes week day mornings.
Jean buys the groceries at the market twice a week, cleans, does the
laundry (except our underwear which we wash on Saturday mornings) and
makes us lunch. She’s usually finishing up just as we sit down to
lunch.
And by then we are all so tired we take a nap or play a game. In the
afternoons Hannah does her physics class (all her work is by
correspondence) my dad naps and does some errands, and my mom does
more work from home, errands, or things around the house. So far I’ve
been helping everyone out or reading. Soon I’ll be writing lesson
plans and grading papers.
Dinner is around 6:30 or 7 and is a small meal. Evenings are short,
and so far we’ve read or watched tv shows/movies. Bed time is by 9
o’clock because you are so exhausted. A few times this week I’ve
caught myself asking if it’s bed time yet by 7:30. Life here is
tiring. And then I tuck myself in under my mosquito net before
drifting off to sleep to the sound of dogs barking in the streets. And
up again at 6 the next morning.
Today was a Saturday, so we got to do things a little bit differently.
Mom, Hannah, and Dad slept in a whole hour till 7 o’clock and then
began the Saturday chores (I was supposed to join them, but forgot to
wake up until 8.. opps!). Mom did the laundry while Hannah made
crepes. We had them with neutela-like chocolate spread (imported of
course), local and in season banana’s and homemade yogurt. Pure
heaven. And then we went to the two grocery stores in the city and the
central market (or the grand marché ) to do our own errands. I bought
some fabric to make a whole Chadian outfit. That was an adventure. The
fabric cost me 6,500 CFA which is like 13 dollars USD. The tailoring
will cost around 4,000. So in total it will be around a 20 dollar
outfit. Tonight we’re going to have pizza. Apparently my sister makes
the best pizza. I can believe it, she is a great cook.
It’s difficult adjusting to the family living. For the fast few weeks
it’s been okay because I know that it’s holiday. But now I’m beginning
to realize that I’m not headed back to school tomorrow like the rest
of you. I hope you have extra fun and don’t forget me. Let me know a
good time when I can skype a crowd of you sometime. Remember there is
a 6 hour time difference. And I go to bed around 9.
Two tourism sites on this side of the country. Dougia has a huge rock
shaped by the wind to resemble an elephant . We got to climb the rock
as a family and it felt just like old times: Climbing rocks, taking
pictures, and then sitting down for a packed lunch. That is until the
local children realized there were narssara in the area. We could see
them coming from all directions to see the white novelty. The
adventuresome boys climbed up the hundred meter rock just to say
“salut” and sit beside us. There was a crowd of about thirty circled
around our truck when we got down from the elephant and they all
wanted a handshake and a hello.
In Gouie, a local village that has a historical museum, all the
village children (about 40 or so) surrounded our truck as soon as we
stopped. All the schools in the country are on conge (holiday) because
of the 50 year independence celebration on Tuesday, and so they were
all there to welcome the tourists. The museum was really cool, it’s
actually an old sultan’s palace all necked out with Sao artifacts. And
then I bought some local pottery. 4 bowls for the apartment next year.
I also ordered a pitcher for water. Things like that are so cheep
here. It’s the clothing that is expensive.
My brother left on Sunday so he could be back in time for school this
week, and life settled down into some what of a routine. Because my
students are also on conge, I lead an English club this past week on
Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning. It went really well. The kids
really want to learn, and I’m finding that I might actually turn out
to be a not-half-bad teacher.
Week days are pretty routine, we all get up at 6 and eat breakfast
together around 6:30. Mom and Dad go to work, Hannah goes to school,
and so far I’ve alternated between hitching a ride with my Dad to my
school, and then walking home or staying home and working on lesson
plans. Each day I’ve gotten the chance to walk around the
neighbourhood, or walk to pick my sister up from school. I can now
find my way there on my own.
We have the big meal of our day at around 1:30 or 2. Because cooking
here takes a lot of time (you have to bleach all the food, etc) and
dishes are done by hand in large tubes, along with laundry (not
together though… ), we have a house help who comes week day mornings.
Jean buys the groceries at the market twice a week, cleans, does the
laundry (except our underwear which we wash on Saturday mornings) and
makes us lunch. She’s usually finishing up just as we sit down to
lunch.
And by then we are all so tired we take a nap or play a game. In the
afternoons Hannah does her physics class (all her work is by
correspondence) my dad naps and does some errands, and my mom does
more work from home, errands, or things around the house. So far I’ve
been helping everyone out or reading. Soon I’ll be writing lesson
plans and grading papers.
Dinner is around 6:30 or 7 and is a small meal. Evenings are short,
and so far we’ve read or watched tv shows/movies. Bed time is by 9
o’clock because you are so exhausted. A few times this week I’ve
caught myself asking if it’s bed time yet by 7:30. Life here is
tiring. And then I tuck myself in under my mosquito net before
drifting off to sleep to the sound of dogs barking in the streets. And
up again at 6 the next morning.
Today was a Saturday, so we got to do things a little bit differently.
Mom, Hannah, and Dad slept in a whole hour till 7 o’clock and then
began the Saturday chores (I was supposed to join them, but forgot to
wake up until 8.. opps!). Mom did the laundry while Hannah made
crepes. We had them with neutela-like chocolate spread (imported of
course), local and in season banana’s and homemade yogurt. Pure
heaven. And then we went to the two grocery stores in the city and the
central market (or the grand marché ) to do our own errands. I bought
some fabric to make a whole Chadian outfit. That was an adventure. The
fabric cost me 6,500 CFA which is like 13 dollars USD. The tailoring
will cost around 4,000. So in total it will be around a 20 dollar
outfit. Tonight we’re going to have pizza. Apparently my sister makes
the best pizza. I can believe it, she is a great cook.
It’s difficult adjusting to the family living. For the fast few weeks
it’s been okay because I know that it’s holiday. But now I’m beginning
to realize that I’m not headed back to school tomorrow like the rest
of you. I hope you have extra fun and don’t forget me. Let me know a
good time when I can skype a crowd of you sometime. Remember there is
a 6 hour time difference. And I go to bed around 9.
contact address
Rebekah Enns C/O Doug Enns
Ethics Peace & Justice (EPJ) Department of EEMET
B.P. 2006
N'Djamena, CHAD
via France
Ethics Peace & Justice (EPJ) Department of EEMET
B.P. 2006
N'Djamena, CHAD
via France
arrival
When I got off the plane I was first shocked by the heat and the
garbage and the smell of gasoline. There are plastic bags buried in
all the sand, the streets and everyone’s courtyards. And the animals
(which Hannah assures me have owners) dig through the piles of trash
on the street. You see pigs and chickens and an assortment of other
animals roaming the roads. And the amount of people on those roads! So
many people here, walking, biking, riding motos, and driving. Nobody
stops before turning or to let you in, you just have to go for it and
be assertive. No such thing as stop signs, though there are a few
lights at the some of the traffic circles. The city is surprisingly
flat, a lot of people, but no skyscrapers. Nothing over 3 stories, and
most only at one story.
My parent’s home is a haven from the noise and the busyness. They have
both solar and grid power (though the solar is fairly new) and water
that comes from the city pipes (which can often get shut off) and a
large tank of water on their roof for when there is no city water.
They have worked hard planting a garden and flowers in their courtyard
under the shade of a beautiful tree. The guards water the flowers and
vegetables (they always have a guard at the house) along with cleaning
the duck pond (there are 3 ducks). We also have a brown dog called
Sheba, and are always worried she’s going to get pregnant because
she’s not fixed (that’s not something they do in Chad).
Disease is a real fear here. We all sleep in mosquito nets, but
regardless I’m covered in bites. We bleach, or get my parent’s house
help Jean, to bleach all the veggies and fruit we get at the market.
All the water we drink or cook with is filtered. And still Joshua got
a parasite within the first few days.
Since we’ve been here we went to the market, the two groceries
stories, an Expat children’s Christmas concert, a Chadian Christmas
concert, and hosted a party for all my parents employees. Their three
guards and their house help, and family. That was lots of fun! I’m
learning to dance like the Chadians. It’s difficult.
I fart all the time here! It is quite crazy! We have competitions to
see who can make the tenderest sound! I am seriously contemplating
entering our family into an orchestra! I think that Paris has a music
competition coming up. (that last paragraph came from my sister. She’s
a little bizzar, but I think you’d like her!).
And then, the game park! We took a vacation and flew 2 hours to the
east of Chad where the animals roam and the lion king was filmed.
Well, not quite because there are no zibras, but almost everything
else. It was so peaceful and beautiful. We saw monkeys by the billions
(baboons too) and giraffs, and water buffalo, and this reptile thing
that climbed trees, and crocodiles in the pond, and elephants, and
even lions. Oh, and the gazelles and a million types of antelope. It
was so serine. When you got out of the room in the morning, there were
monkeys playing twenty feet away in the trees. It was an amazing time
to simply hang out as a family and enjoy the world. We got to watch
our dinner get killed one night, a chicken from the village, and then
we eat the entire thing. I got the liver, Hannah eat something we
think was the stomach and the intestines (it squirted something that
looked like poop at my brother) and mom got the brain. Delicious and
exotic. But it was great chicken.
And now we’re back in the city. Today I’m going to the place where I
will be working for the next few months teaching English. I want to
make a good impression. Dressed up in my Chadian fabric and matching
head covering hoping that they wont think my French is too horrible. I
have a hard time understanding some people here, and an even harder
time talking. But I’m much better than either of my parents. My sister
is a genious though. She can bargain too. She got me earrings down
from 7000 CFA to 2000 CFA (about 4 dollars). Things aren’t as cheep
here as you would imagine for Africa. But that’s okay. Clothing would
be expensive, but I can make due borrowing for now and hannah made me
a skirt and panier (cloth wrap thing) with matching headcoverings for
Christmas. She has gotten really creative with a sowing machine.
love you lots dear, enjoy your holidays!
garbage and the smell of gasoline. There are plastic bags buried in
all the sand, the streets and everyone’s courtyards. And the animals
(which Hannah assures me have owners) dig through the piles of trash
on the street. You see pigs and chickens and an assortment of other
animals roaming the roads. And the amount of people on those roads! So
many people here, walking, biking, riding motos, and driving. Nobody
stops before turning or to let you in, you just have to go for it and
be assertive. No such thing as stop signs, though there are a few
lights at the some of the traffic circles. The city is surprisingly
flat, a lot of people, but no skyscrapers. Nothing over 3 stories, and
most only at one story.
My parent’s home is a haven from the noise and the busyness. They have
both solar and grid power (though the solar is fairly new) and water
that comes from the city pipes (which can often get shut off) and a
large tank of water on their roof for when there is no city water.
They have worked hard planting a garden and flowers in their courtyard
under the shade of a beautiful tree. The guards water the flowers and
vegetables (they always have a guard at the house) along with cleaning
the duck pond (there are 3 ducks). We also have a brown dog called
Sheba, and are always worried she’s going to get pregnant because
she’s not fixed (that’s not something they do in Chad).
Disease is a real fear here. We all sleep in mosquito nets, but
regardless I’m covered in bites. We bleach, or get my parent’s house
help Jean, to bleach all the veggies and fruit we get at the market.
All the water we drink or cook with is filtered. And still Joshua got
a parasite within the first few days.
Since we’ve been here we went to the market, the two groceries
stories, an Expat children’s Christmas concert, a Chadian Christmas
concert, and hosted a party for all my parents employees. Their three
guards and their house help, and family. That was lots of fun! I’m
learning to dance like the Chadians. It’s difficult.
I fart all the time here! It is quite crazy! We have competitions to
see who can make the tenderest sound! I am seriously contemplating
entering our family into an orchestra! I think that Paris has a music
competition coming up. (that last paragraph came from my sister. She’s
a little bizzar, but I think you’d like her!).
And then, the game park! We took a vacation and flew 2 hours to the
east of Chad where the animals roam and the lion king was filmed.
Well, not quite because there are no zibras, but almost everything
else. It was so peaceful and beautiful. We saw monkeys by the billions
(baboons too) and giraffs, and water buffalo, and this reptile thing
that climbed trees, and crocodiles in the pond, and elephants, and
even lions. Oh, and the gazelles and a million types of antelope. It
was so serine. When you got out of the room in the morning, there were
monkeys playing twenty feet away in the trees. It was an amazing time
to simply hang out as a family and enjoy the world. We got to watch
our dinner get killed one night, a chicken from the village, and then
we eat the entire thing. I got the liver, Hannah eat something we
think was the stomach and the intestines (it squirted something that
looked like poop at my brother) and mom got the brain. Delicious and
exotic. But it was great chicken.
And now we’re back in the city. Today I’m going to the place where I
will be working for the next few months teaching English. I want to
make a good impression. Dressed up in my Chadian fabric and matching
head covering hoping that they wont think my French is too horrible. I
have a hard time understanding some people here, and an even harder
time talking. But I’m much better than either of my parents. My sister
is a genious though. She can bargain too. She got me earrings down
from 7000 CFA to 2000 CFA (about 4 dollars). Things aren’t as cheep
here as you would imagine for Africa. But that’s okay. Clothing would
be expensive, but I can make due borrowing for now and hannah made me
a skirt and panier (cloth wrap thing) with matching headcoverings for
Christmas. She has gotten really creative with a sowing machine.
love you lots dear, enjoy your holidays!
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